Suffocating and I hadn’t even gotten them on one leg yet

So I’m out with my hubbie and daughter. We’ve just left one store and have stopped at Tijuana Flats (because I’m starving) on the way to the next store. The daughter desperately needs pants. We live in Florida and her one pair of jeans suddenly is not enough with our 58 degree weather. (Stop laughing.)

So I’m shoveling some high fat content cheese enchiladas with verde sauce (yum!) into my face and grumbling about hating shopping right now and how nothing fits right (can you say quit smoking and have been eating instead?)

The hubbie makes motions toward his jeans and nods vigorously.

Hubbie: Thank Gawd I found these in the closet. I was going to complain that some young man friend of yours hung his pants in my closet. I was suffocating and I hadn’t even gotten them on one leg yet.

Me: Bwah hahahahhahaha

Daughter: *Blinks rapidly at mother, then father, then mother again.*

Me: Bwah hahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha *crying*

Yeah, we laugh a lot. Even if it doesn’t make sense.

Enjoy your time. ❤

A Woman’s Decision Making Process

Hubbie: I’m boiling water. Do you want some tea?

Me: Hm.

Hubbie: Yes. No. *Drums fingers* Yes. No.

Me: Well, I didn’t sleep well last night and even though I have decaf, I want to sleep well tonight so I want the tea but I am thinking I want sleep more.

Hubbie: So no.

Me: Right.

Hubbie: You could have just said ‘no thank you’.

PG Tips – the Monkey Tea

The Hubby put on the kettle for tea today.

Me: Is there enough for me too?

Hubby: Sure, what tea do you want?

Me: PG Tips baby.

Hubby: Monkey tea.

Me: *Face scrunches up* *Brows raise questioning intelligence of statement*

Hubby: I mean monkeys like that tea. Not that you are a monkey.

Me: *gives death eye*

*Realizes hubby is referring to a commercial from when he was a kid*

*Finds commercial*

*Has good laugh*

*Shares with friends*

 

Driving Ramble

So the other day I was on my way home from work and out of the corner of my eye this spanky black car cruises by and I swear it’s Edward Cullen driving. Then he pulls in front of me to avoid the super slow MF in front of him causing me to break (barely) and then he squeezes in front the slow MF and zips away.

Normally I would have thrown a verbal tantrum containing many curse words that may or may not equal complete sentences. But there were two reasons that I did not.

1) My car sucks. Actually it’s a Nissan Xterra. And it has the guts of a wall flower. I miss my little Acura.

2) Because the guy looked like Edward Cullen and on the off chance that it was indeed a vampire than far be it for me to be upset about someone who can clearly drive more adeptly than I.

So I smiled instead and felt pretty good about it.

That ramble out of my system brings me to another point. I keep noticing people texting WHILE driving. Like holding their phone above their steering wheel while “steering”. It doesn’t take but a moment of your eyes on that phone to miss that incompetent A-hole who breaks fast and hard while the light is still two miles in the distance. Or for that stumbling drunk woman on the side walk to fall smack into the road directly in front of you (yes, this actually happened while my hubbie was driving his monster of a Ford 250 and someone must have been watching over this chick as there was no one in the lane to our left and my husband managed to swerve around her without killing her or anyone else).  Or the guy in the lane to your left who suddenly decides he needs to get to the gas station on the oher side of the right lane next to you and doesn’t seem to mind that you are there in the center lane minding your own business. I braked hard on that one and fast. No one was hurt but if I wasn’t late from my lunch break, I coulda pulled into that gas station and given someone a biatch slap. Coulda happened. Yeah.

Okay, my point is that there are a ton of numb skulls driving and it behooves you and everyone around you to keep an eye out for them and keep the road safe. In my house we never say “Drive safe”. We say “Pay attention.” Unlike the texting-while-driving folk.

Well, I think that about says it.

I’m going to go do something fun like write. About people from Caelum. Who have wings. And maybe a half breed or two. And some pixies. And maybe write some more about shape-shifting gargoyles. [sigh] okay I feel better now. xo

This, That and Heart Attacks

Hello! I have been chewing over what to post for my next blog when I realized how long it had been since my last. <shakes head>

Well, 2013 has been an interesting year so far.  For the first couple months of this year I worked my butt off on Book two of my series. Book one was done and with the editor. Then in March (or was it February?), the Editor (A-fucking-mazing editor by the way) sent me Book one ready for tweaking. Well, honestly Book two was just smoking along so I sat on book one even though it was supposed to publish by mid April. Then Book two came to a screeching halt and I jumped over to work on the edits for book one.

Then my husband had chest pains and ended up in the hospital. Yep, that ‘chest/lung pain’ he’d been experiencing was actually a collapsed artery and those ‘episodes’ were friggin heart attacks. Did I freak? Yep, but very quietly.  He had a minor and apparently all too common procedure which opened up the artery and handled a clot that was meddling. My hubby is a very upbeat people person, easy to get along with, totally chill and so the last thing I would have dreamed he would have issues with was his heart.  Scared the hell out of me. He’s fine now and looks amazing. The grey pallor and blood shot eyes that we contributed to his vocation are gone. Things are settling back into normal. It took a while for me to stop focusing everything on family and lift my head to look around.

This past weekend in a frenzy, I ‘remodeled’ my office (read painted walls and put furniture back in different places). Unfortunately you can’t get the full panoramic view but here’s a taste…

Yes, all the statues on the bookshelf are some of my attentive gargoyles. <toothy grin>

It is soooooooo nice to be in my office now and I am ready to get back to work again. Book one, Book two, short story for the upcoming anthology, here I come.

Happy New Year – Dream Big!

In light of the New Year, I thought I would say a few words. So many of us set goals for the new year and then give up half way, or more often give up after only three weeks or one or maybe in just a few days. Here are a few tips to make your goals a reality this year that have worked really well for me:

• Write them down. It seems so simple. You know what you want to get done, right? Why write them down. Well, first, get it on paper so that it’s brought into the world and out of your head. Second, it makes it easier to set completion targets. And lastly, because it just feels good. There is nothing like putting those goals down and actually see what you’re going to get done. It’s exciting!
• Set realistic goals. Saying that you’re going to make a million dollars this year without setting down the means to do that is pie in the sky. Sure, you can decide to do that but don’t forget that without winning the lottery, you need a plan to achieve that goal.
• Persist: to continue steadfast or firmly in some state, purpose, course of action, or the like, especially in spite of opposition, etc. (Random House Dictionary 2012) Be persistent. Your goals will never be achieved while you’re watching TV, playing video games or hitting the bars. That doesn’t mean you can’t do anything fun, it means make sure you continue, on a regular basis, doing things to forward your goals. In 2012 I didn’t set lofty targets but I did note down that I wanted the first book in my Guardians Den series to be done and to the Editor, I wanted to get through the first draft of Book Two, start my own publishing company and publish the first book of short stories for my writers group. By persisting, I did all of those things except complete the first draft of Book Two. I got almost halfway through it though so I’m not sweating it. Make time to work on your dreams and use it to your full advantage.
• Don’t listen to the dream stealers, the evil critiquers, the pessimistic downers that you come across in life. If you ever find yourself doubting your abilities, your dreams and aspirations: STOP. You’ll get nowhere beating yourself up. Experience a set back? Keep going. This is key. Let NO ONE stop you. You are important and you can get or achieve what you want.
• This may not apply to you but if it does, I hope this helps. Does your day job get you down? What do you want to be when you grow up? Are you working to achieve that? If your J.O.B. is so horrible that you dread going on a regular basis, maybe it’s time to switch it up. You never know what may await you. Almost two years ago I realized I wasn’t enjoying the daily grind. One lunch break I was headed back to the office and I decided that it was time for a new game. Working for others was not what I wanted to do forever. I’m a writer, I want to do that all day long, but I also need to eat, keep a house over my head and keep the electric on while I get my words down for publishing. So I wanted something different. The very next day after making that decision, I ran into a friend who worked at a company who needed someone and I fit the bill. I interviewed the next day and was hired on the spot. After putting in my notice, two weeks later I was at the new company and it is everything a day job could be for me. Great people, fun work and caring bosses. My point is this, don’t sell yourself short and think that you have to be miserable during the day while working into the night creating what it is you really want to be doing. You can enjoy making the money you need to survive while continuing to create your future.

Every year around our anniversary, my husband and I sit down and list out our individual goals for the new year and a separate list for the whole family. Then we make plans to achieve those goals. It could be as simple as setting aside an amount of cash each week for a family outing or it could be agreeing that during certain times, Dad cooks so Mom can tuck away in the office and get a few thousand words out. Whatever it is, it’s always fun create time together and also gives opportunity to show our support for each other’s dreams.

Have a wonderful New Year – Dream big and often!

Definition of Writer

Friend of mine posted this and I had to share! For those of you who know how much I LOVE coffee, this fit me beautifully!

 

writ • er / ‘raitər/

– noun

1. a peculiar organism capable of transforming caffeine into books.

Enjoy reading, get cake!

There’s a definite difference between a book you simply enjoy and a book that somehow talks to you. It wiggles its way into your mind, your heart or maybe even brings out the devil in you. In those cases, you just want more. More adventure, more action, more love or whatever it is that speaks to you.

For example, you read a book and you enjoy it. Maybe you even love it. But did you turn that last page and immediately run to buy the next book in the series or something else the author has written? I mention this because I read a book a few weeks ago, even blogged about it, and I genuinely enjoyed it. I was completely content with the read. I found it to be a page turner and it left me smiling. I did not, however, rush out to grab the next book. I ended up reading a few books by an author I had read before and enjoyed. After a couple of those, I switched gears and went in search of something new. Finding it, I tackled it and you know what? As soon as I finished that last page I promptly went and bought the next book. It was bedtime so I didn’t crack it open but I made sure I had it for later, no questions asked.

One book may talk to you or be more real or more  something than another. It doesn’t mean one is less than the other, although I am sure that many will disagree, it just means that it didn’t talk to you the same way and deliver whatever it is that you need to smile at the end.

I’ve had two debates recently with people who I feel, frankly, are pretty shallow minded in this regard. They read a book and it either speaks to them or it’s crap. Or in another’s words, a piece of shit. Well, I’ve read some books that I thought were shit. But I don’t share that around because something I don’t like might be enjoyed by someone else and I don’t really think its my place to judge for someone else.

A piece of shit could also mean a million different things. The book didn’t talk to you at all (hello, anyone there?). Or maybe it was so full of typos that you were pulled out of the story too many times and found yourself annoyed.  Or maybe at the end you didn’t get what you were looking for. I don’t like to read dramas, for example. I have my life with its ups and downs and everything that goes with it. I read for pleasure. I read to feel the emotion of the character who overcomes the bad guy, finds love or wins the war. I don’t really want to read about someone ending up with the short end of the stick. I see that in life, my own and others, and I read for the joy. Now that’s me. Others like ‘reality’ books and I’m down with it and I don’t call it shit just because it’s not my thing.

All that said, I like cake.

The co-founder of my writers group and I were talking about a book one day and she commented that she didn’t get pie at the end. I loved the saying and it has since spread through our group like wildfire. I don’t know where she got it from, I’ll have to make a note to ask. The funny thing is that I’m not really fond of pie but I sure do like cake, especially angel food cake. So I just changed up the comment to fit me.

So I like cake. Particularly if it has supernatural features. Read and enjoy whatever it is you like. And do it often. Cheers!

A First

I did something last week that I have never done before. I wasn’t drunk. I wasn’t strapped down on a table screaming. I went on my own volition with a smile tucked away for when I was done.

I got my first tattoo.

There are those out there, like me, who have wanted one for a long time but couldn’t or wouldn’t justify the expense. Or perhaps you’re one of those who have ten tattoos already and are eagerly planning out the next one. And then there are those who look disdainfully at such frivolous spending or maybe consider it a debasement of personal property. I believe it’s a personal thing. As I sit here, my mouth curls at the sides and there’s a happy place in me that is satisfied for having finally done it.

My husband and son gave me the tattoo cash for my birthday knowing that I wouldn’t set aside the money myself (I run the finances in the household and there is always something more important or needed!). My husband told me sternly that it was for my tattoo and asked if he needed to hold the cash for me so that I wouldn’t spend it on something sensible, like groceries. I declined, confident that I could hold onto it as though it was a coupon or gift card.

So  I went in search of the person who would lay ink into me, to my standards, and create the friend who would accompany me through life. I already knew what I wanted, had for years. So the first step was done. I started with referrals. Meeting the artist, showing them what I wanted and seeing what they said.

There were quite a few, here’s a highlight:

Tattoo Artist 1: Liked him immediately. Huge guy, reminded me of a teddy bear, beard and all. Looked through his portfolio. Liked his word but found it ‘soft’. Not very many hard edges though a good artist. He wanted $50 to draw what I wanted which would be part of the fee when done. He wouldn’t quote an actual price until he had a drawing. Left thinking he was a possibility but wasn’t thrilled.

Tattoo Artist 2: Referred by a good friend. He was young, was cocky right off the bat. He said the tattoo couldn’t be smaller than ten inches high due to the detail. Quoted $300. Scoffed at a fee to draw it out. He had all of three pictures of each work in a portfolio. Gave me a website to check out. I left feeling slimed. Went to the website when I got home. Page not found. Checked back a few times. No site. Yeah, big fat no.

After other dissatisfying looks around, I did an online search of local tattoo parlors and checked the reviews. I found Lou’s Tattoo’s which I’ve driven by about a million times. They are the first tattoo shop in Florida. I checked out the online portfolios, all were good. But it was Mike’s that caught my eye. The detail, strong lines, clever shading got my attention. I popped down to meet him and liked him right away. Super mellow, happy to chat and loves tattooing more than anything. It’s something he would do do for free if he didn’t have to eat.

I showed him what I wanted and he quoted me $150, no charge for the drawing. He took no notes and told me he’d have a draft in a week and would give me a call. I left knowing he was the one. True to his word, he called six days later. I went to see the drawing. <Smiling sigh> Two tiny changes and it was perfection. I scheduled on the spot.

The tattoo process
I have a high pain tolerance. I was more worried about the placement than any pain that would be experienced. He prepped my skin up with whatever gobbly gook he uses and placed the stencil. After three tries, we had it. My wonderful husband helped me since, the tattoo being on my back, it was rather hard to see. I was getting excited.

It took roughly two hours. Did getting a tattoo hurt? Hells yes. Was it horrible? Did I have to chew up a chunk of wood to keep from screaming? No. You have to think with the fact that someone is dragging a needle through your skin. For anyone who has sewed, you may recall the feeling of stabbing yourself or accidentally gouging out flesh. That gives you an idea. After a bit, you kind of get used to it as weird as that may sound. I’d say there were 4-5 times when I was saying ‘owwww’ in my head. Otherwise it was tolerable. Mike and I chatted through the whole thing mostly about books and movies. He likes fantasy and sci-fi which is right up my alley, he gave me some book recommendations. I took notes on my phone while he happily stabbed me repeatedly.

A friend at work, who has a few tattoos, told me that it would feel like a bad sunburn for a few days than itch like crazy.  A week later, I absolutely agree that it felt like a bad sunburn for a while.  The day after it felt like road rash. The first two nights my sleep was a bit broken as I woke periodically to tenderly turned over. Then I went through a couple of days where when I put lotion on it, small chunks of skin come off and freaked me out. I found out that’s normal, the scab in the healing process. And now, it doesn’t just itch. It itches like fuck. I am smearing lotion on this thing constantly in a steadfast vow not to scratch.

So in a nutshell, the week after, the care and discipline is more challenging than the process itself. Despite all that, I don’t mind. I am thrilled with my new friend:

Fantastic Fiction Website

A gal who came across my blog turned me on to a great website where you can type in an author’s name and not only see their wares but also see books that they’ve recommended.  It’s impossible to not find something interested (at which point I quickly log onto my library’s website and request it).  The website is bit too bright but gets the job done nicely.

I love the library.  After moving back from Australia a little over a year ago with nothing but our suitcases and under a hundred bucks, we have been rebuilding and are not quite to the point of buying books, leave alone a book shelf.  We’re almost there but until then, the library gives me what I need to fulfill my addiction.