Ted the Accountant by Lisa Barry

This was a lot of fun to write!

Stories My Friends Started

For Remi Paquette, I hope you enjoy it!

Ted, the accountant walked out on stage and looking over the assembled gods realized that this was not going to be a fun presentation.

Clearing his throat, Ted nodded at the crowd and then turned to his laptop, already connected to the big screen before them. He cleared his throat again and tried to steady his hand before turning back to the crowd.

He gave a weak smile as he fished the laser pointer from his pocket and aimed it at the pie chart on the screen.

“Thank you all for coming today,” Ted said and cringed as his voice boomed by some god’s will over the colosseum.

“I am one of the forensic accountants for Athena.” The crowd turned to look at her where she sat demurely at the end of the second row on the left. She had a small…

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Dragon Scales and Comfortable Jails

The latest Ink Slingers Guild meeting was excellent as always. We were able to fit in four writing exercises which I LOVE! During each exercise three words are chosen randomly and we have 5 minutes to write a quick story. Here are mine! Hope you enjoy! 🙂

  • dance
  • flutter
  • circus

The dance was still hours away but Malie had already been in the bathroom for half an hour with her seemingly endless grooming. As a circus performer myself, I was comfortable in my skin and confident in my step. It took me all of 15 minutes to get ready even in the most glamorous of occasions and the flutters of nervousness from the past was long gone. I woke up with drool running down my chin and was annoyed to have to fix my thick make up before leaving. Malie took that moment to walk in the room.

“Gah!” she hollered when our eyes met. “Your scales are showing, Stace. Go fix it. We have to leave.”

I got up wearily and went into the bathroom. Sure enough, the drool had taken its toll. I caked on more make-up, successfully, covering my scales, made sure my tail was still strapped down and hidden and went to meet Malie at the front door.

 

  • bottle
  • paisley
  • gift card

My black and gray paisley silk dress fit this dance party like a blue sky at a rally against happiness. All around me were half dressed girls including my dear friend Malie and the boys, well, they were wearing clothes almost tighter than the girls. I hadn’t gotten out much but I couldn’t help be appalled that the men should wear clothes such as this. What happened to lace lined shirts and coats with tails. I was not in my element. I hoisted my bottle of ale, can’t even get a proper mug here, and went toward a table in the corner. As I passed a table a lady called out offering “gift cards” for sale. My glance at the brochures on the table told me she was promoting the restaurant portion of the club and I quickly shook my head. This place was awful.

 

  • peppers
  • rushed
  • persnickety

The strong smell of roasted red peppers filled the car. It caught me so off guard I almost hit the breaks in alarm. But the realization infiltrated my mind before I could cause a five car pile up and I glanced to the back seat. A small gnome like creature sat in the center seat. The green cap sat side-ways like it was rushed on and I would have thought it should fall off but in all the times I’ve seen him, it never had. “Bob,” I said. He nodded. I was always afraid of saying much more. He was such a persnickety little fellow and truthfully, he scared the hell out of me. Beneath that, I coughed in my head, cute exterior was a vicious and calculating, sharp toothed little fae. And the fae never had anything but their own interests in mind. The only reason they even gave me the time of day was because I was part fae, part were-wolf. Whenever they needed to tell the Alpha something, they came to me. Oh boy.

 

  • chain
  • sweater
  • tissue

The chain dragged along the stone floor. At least I thought it was the floor. I supposed he, or she, could have been pulling it along the wall but that seemed like a lot more work and I didn’t see the prison guards as being particularly industrious. I sat in the corner of my cell wearing my ragged brown sweater and a pair of leggings with a large hole in one knee. At least it was spring, the cell wasn’t too hot or cold. Last time I was here, I was so hot I thought I would sweat all the water out of my body and just be a husk when someone finally realized who I was and let me out. I waited patiently for the box of delicate tissues, a bag of sugar and a note from my father to be delivered. I had been missing for, oh, four days now. Despite my drunken rampage into the knight’s lap, it was a pub after all, it wasn’t that big a deal, I was surprised they didn’t rough me up a bit more.

 

Tampa Bay Book Fair, a new Book Cover and Bookmarks too!

In two weeks I will be at the Tampa Bay Book Fair with my fellow Ink Slingers Guild members. We will be displaying our books, handing out bookmarks, doing drawings for those who contribute the first line of a story for Stories My Friends Started and, of course, having a great time!

If you’re local, come out and see us!

On another note, the book cover for my first novel, The Guardians, has had an overhaul and I am pleased with the results:

TheGuardians_BookCover_FinalNew_sm

My book and many others will be available at the book fair (as well as on Amazon)!

And lastly, I have a new bookmark to go with my new cover and I just love it!

Guardians_Bookmark_2x6_side1a

Guardians_Bookmark_2x6_side2a

 

 

Hope to see you at the Book Fair!

🙂

Excerpt from ROGUE – Book Two of the Gargoyles Den series

Erika Lance tagged me in the “7-7-7” challenge: Post seven lines starting at the seventh row of the seventh page of your current work in progress.

I am one chapter away from finishing Book Two of the Gargoyles Den series called “Rogue”. So you get an excerpt and it so happens it’s one of my favorite parts of the story!

Here is my 7-7-7:

“You should have died from this,” she said softly as she lifted her hand from his skin. Liam took a long breath and turned to her.

“I did,” he said. Sloane frowned but was immediately distracted by his depthless blue eyes. She lifted her hand and traced the bruises on his forehead, then down his cheek. Liam closed his eyes, his breath shallowed. His hand covered hers hastily and he pressed it to his cheek.

“Woman,” he growled, “must you?”

Rogue is scheduled for release this March.

And now I tag:

Rhiannon Matlock and Desiree Matlock (no relation lol)
🙂